


I Have to Go

by Lxie



Series: Please Don't Go [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Companion Piece, M/M, More angst, keith's pov, not sure what this is either
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 05:43:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11306907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lxie/pseuds/Lxie
Summary: Keith's POV to Please Don't Go.The knob turned under his hand easily. Stepping out the door and into the unknown future wasn’t. He didn’t know what his next step was but he knew he wasn’t getting anywhere here.





	I Have to Go

It was going to rain again.

Of all the days to forget his hat.

It was drizzling but right before the point that the sky ripped opened and cried a flood of tears over everyone, making everything look blurred and bleeding like watercolor.

Keith pulled out his phone to see a message from Lance that he already read asking to bring back some bread and eggs from the store. He thumbed the message, debating, before putting it back in his pocket unresponded.

He breathed deeply, staring across the dull and dreary parking lot to the local grocery store. He slowly maneuvered around deep and shallow puddles and into the too cold store. He shivered and his stomach twists as he grabs the nearest squeaky metal hand-basket. If this were space a couple months ago it would have given away his location immediately.

He ignored the twisting feeling and walks to the bread aisle. White or wheat? He would have given anything to have a fucking piece of toast in space instead of the space goo and now there are so many options. Cottage bread, potato bread, honey wheat, 8 grain. Too many options.

He slid the one he thought Lance would like the best in the too squeaky basket. His bones ached from the need to do _something._ Something productive, something to _do_. And grocery shopping isn’t it.

_POP!_

Metal crashed against linoleum as Keith abandoned his bread in his haste to drop into his defensive stance. His left leg back, center of gravity lowered, and fists shielding his face. His mind formed an attacker in the forefront of his awareness. Tall, maybe 7ft, purple fur, ridges, glowing yellow eyes. Claws. Laser blasters. Teeth. Malicious smiles. Blood.

Only to find his opponent a young toddler with chips littered around his feet, bag crumpled in his pudgy hands. His brown eyes filled with tears, whether it’s from his lack of snacks or the fierce look on former warrior ready to kill him.

The mother, a young mother, scared and protective scooped up her charge, stammered out an apology, and fled holding her son with the watery eyes.

Heart crawling up in his chest and ready to heave from his mouth he leaves the bread in the abandoned aisle.

 

* * *

 

 

His bones ached again.

They’ve done this ever since they’ve defeated the Galra after seven years of fighting. Maybe they’re adjusting to the atmosphere or the new routine of working out at the gym with pushups and weights instead of a sword or maybe it’s the rain. Either way they ached. They ached in a way that makes his skin tingle and nerves run high.

Instead of taking his bike to the apartment they holed up in when they go back to Earth he walked back. It was locked up and has so many security locks on it made by Pidge and Hunk it’ll be fine. Despite the weather he needed to walk. Anything to get rid of that ache buzzing under his skin and in his bones.

Lance was usually good at calming that ache.

He saw his new agitation and pulls him into his lap. He saw his frayed nerves and convinces him to race against him in Mario Kart. The ache came back and he offered to spar with him like they used to.

He came into his room when he has nightmares and stays with him until he fell back to sleep.

He made him breakfast.

He cleansed up after him.

He called him babe.

Lance did so many things for him. He’s been there before and after the end of the Galra Empire.

And Keith didn’t know what the fuck is going on.

Ever since the beginning they’ve always been…something. He didn’t know _what_ but it was there, tremulous and unformed. He always thought that they could shape it after everything was done. Turn those teasing fights and soft, subtle smiles into something real, something that they created together. But. Everything is done. Everything is done but what are they even doing? What is _he_ doing? He’s stuck in this strange place of moving forward and tumbling into the past but he’s not even in the present.

He doesn’t know where the fuck he is.

A car honked, loud and deep, and dirty water splashed his jeans.

 

* * *

 

He’s waiting for him again.

It feels like Lance was always waiting for him.

He turned his head and smiled like the sun was going to break out of the clouds, his eyes like a different sky than it is now.

“Hey, babe.”

Keith shook out the last of the water in his hair. “Hey, Lance.”

Lance jerked his head towards the kitchen. “Stew’s on the stove if you want some.”

Keith hung up his damp coat while sucking his lower lip into his mouth. He let out a shaky breath and released his lip with a soft pop. Waiting with soup, and Keith couldn’t even go into the fucking grocery store without attacking someone.

At least out in space he could do something. He was doing something. He was saving the goddamn world for christsakes! Now he can’t do _anything_. He couldn’t give Lance what he wants. How could he? He didn’t know what to do.

“Did you get the groceries?”

He was holding him back.

“Keith?”

How could he be with Lance when he didn’t even know what he, himself, wants?

“Buddy?”

“Nothing.”

He knew what he didn’t want.

“I think it’s something.”

He didn’t want to be afraid of popping chip bags.

“Forget about it, Lance.”

He didn’t want to be on guard all the time.

“Come on, man. It’s me, you can talk to me!”

He didn’t want to be useless. He didn’t want to be second-guessing everyone and everything. He didn’t want to be stuck. He didn’t want to not know what to do. He didn’t want to be lost. He didn’t want to have nightmares. He didn’t want to hear laser fire. He didn’t want to see explosions when he’s walking in the park.

“I just want to help!”

“You can’t help anyone, _Lance_! Just--! Stop trying!”

He didn’t want Lance to be stuck in a relationship with him when he didn’t even know how to be in one.

“You can’t do anything! There’s nothing you can do! Forget it,” he had to get out of there. He needed to get his shit together before he could be in a relationship. He turned and grabbed his jacket. “I’m leaving.” Lightning flashed in agreement.

Something soft pelted the back of his head. His hat, the one he forgot. “We’re not done here!” Keith didn’t dare turn around. He knew if he turned then he would cave. He always did, but he couldn’t this time. He did. “You’re not leaving until you talk to me!”

Didn’t he get it? Keith isn’t in a good place right now. Lance would only be in a half relationship if he kept trying. It wouldn’t be fair to him. “You can’t order me around, Lance. You’re not piloting the Black lion, hell you’re not piloting Blue, and you’re not my boyfriend.”

He’s not caving right? It felt like it did. He could feel chunks of flesh from his ribcage falling in pieces to his stomach, leaving a gaping cavern where his organs were, soft and free for attack.

He turned and tried to escape as fast as possible.

“Keith, think about what you’re doing. Don’t walk out that door!” Lance’s voice was hoarse when he croaked out familiar words disguised as a threat.

He pulled his arms through his jacket and secured the hat that Lance threw at him. Even when he was mad Lance tried to take care of him.

“If you go out that door I’m not going to be here when you come back!”

It’s probably for the best.

The knob turned under his hand easily. Stepping out the door and into the unknown future wasn’t. He didn’t know what his next step was but he knew he wasn’t getting anywhere here.

“Please don’t go.”

_I’m so, so, so, sosososo **sorry**._

_I have to._

“Sorry, Lance.”

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry the boys will have a happy ending!


End file.
